Monday, December 19, 2011

a project for you

I am dying to bend my ankle. In solidarity, please put your ankle in one position and don't bend it for 10-12 weeks.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


The leg under the cast is itching in the most uncontrollable way. I think the sociopath foot has done something to mess with it.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

new cast

The foot has a new cast. Number three. It is too tight, like my entire college freshman wardrobe.

In fact, if tightness of garb is any guide, the foot is a disreputable trollop.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

foot as bowling device

If you're getting a new cast put on (after having it removed for x-rays) and you mention that the old one dug into your foot at times, they will add so much padding to the new one that your foot will end up the size of a small bowling ball.

Be warned.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The foot burns.

Friday, November 25, 2011

The foot watches jealously as its counterpart is pedicured... a covetous, baleful malcontent.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

the foot strikes

The foot strikes when you least expect it, such as when you are hobbling down a hallway on your crutches at your eye doctor's office, and suddenly you fall down, landing on the broken foot and causing a horrible scene that results in your eye doctor's staff having to push you around the office on an office chair with wheels while you try to pretend that you are not a ridiculous person.

The foot laughs a sinister laugh and goes back to lying in wait again.

the foot rebels at night

At night, the foot becomes a monster -- larger, and a bully. A swollen mass of malevolence. At night it yearns for Poe.

the foot does not like...

most things.

the foot has a dream

... that someday it will again take a shower standing up.

self portrait