On November 22, the foot shared its most deeply held dream: to one day again a take a shower standing up. Today, March 17, the dream was realized.
The foot's heart is full ... and yet, with this dream achieved, a certain aimlessness begins to gnaw at the back of the foot's mind, indeed at its very soul.
Oh fuck! My foot!
the tragic tale of a broken foot ... its adventures and misfortunes
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
the foot is pedicured
The foot today made a triumphant return to the world of pedicures. It was able to tolerate all elements of pedicurism other than being wrapped in a steaming hot towel, which made it jump and pull away as if boiling oil had been poured all over it like the Apostle John, who himself was plunged into boiling oil.
The foot often thinks of itself as an apostle.
The foot often thinks of itself as an apostle.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
stealth attack
The foot, perhaps sensing that its days of relaxation and sloth are coming to an end, this morning launched a stealth attack -- causing a heavy bar of soap to be dropped directly upon itself, precisely at the site of the break, in turn causing the foot owner to shriek and then hobble about in pain the rest of the day.
A bruise has formed.
The foot will not go gently into that good night.
A bruise has formed.
The foot will not go gently into that good night.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
the foot begins physical therapy
After the first day of physical therapy, the foot can sense that its halcyon days of lolling about and being waited on are coming to an end. The foot wants to smoke a clove cigarette, play some Jimi Hendrix really loudly, and pretend not to hear any of the orders to twist to the left or pick up a towel with its toes.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
the foot is free!
The foot has reemerged into the world, shedding its cast as a butterfly breaks free of its cocoon after a long hibernation.
Unlike a butterfly, it is swollen, peely, and alarming to look at.
Unlike a butterfly, it is swollen, peely, and alarming to look at.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
a project for you
I am dying to bend my ankle. In solidarity, please put your ankle in one position and don't bend it for 10-12 weeks.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
itch
The leg under the cast is itching in the most uncontrollable way. I think the sociopath foot has done something to mess with it.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
new cast
The foot has a new cast. Number three. It is too tight, like my entire college freshman wardrobe.
In fact, if tightness of garb is any guide, the foot is a disreputable trollop.
In fact, if tightness of garb is any guide, the foot is a disreputable trollop.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
foot as bowling device
If you're getting a new cast put on (after having it removed for x-rays) and you mention that the old one dug into your foot at times, they will add so much padding to the new one that your foot will end up the size of a small bowling ball.
Be warned.
Be warned.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
the foot strikes
The foot strikes when you least expect it, such as when you are hobbling down a hallway on your crutches at your eye doctor's office, and suddenly you fall down, landing on the broken foot and causing a horrible scene that results in your eye doctor's staff having to push you around the office on an office chair with wheels while you try to pretend that you are not a ridiculous person.
The foot laughs a sinister laugh and goes back to lying in wait again.
The foot laughs a sinister laugh and goes back to lying in wait again.
the foot rebels at night
At night, the foot becomes a monster -- larger, and a bully. A swollen mass of malevolence. At night it yearns for Poe.
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